Little Vin

Vin was a cutie this morning as usual.

Last night he had a really good time exploring and playing in his room. First he crawled in and was looking in the full length mirror that was sitting on the floor. He loves looking at himself and touching the mirror. Then he crawled over to his basket of toys and was pulling out each toy one by one, looking to see what was all in the basket. He was really interested in the little boards that Andrea drew a snail and a ladybug on. Then I rolled him his big ball that Scott picked out for him. He was interested in it and sat with it between his legs beating it.

Earlier in my room he was hitting my guitar and its strings. He is very interested in it.

This morning he got a kick out of me when I was mimicking the little screams and screeches he was making.

When he got to daycare this morning, he crawled straight to the kitchen. Mama Lynn says he does that all the time now when he is hungry. It is his way of saying "Fee Me!"

RE Connecting

I just got done glancing at the First Step Recovery blog. I read some of the posts. It made me pretty sad. I have totally lost touch with those girls. But I can move past the sadness. It just wasn't meant to be.

These are the areas of my life I want to focus on:
1) My role as a mother & my relationship with Vin
2) My relationship with Scott and our family unit
3) My relationship with myself
a) friendships & family
b) well being - health, nutrition & mental health
c) hobbies/passions (music, nature, reading)
d) career/education goals

On this blog I really wanted to journal about what is happening in Vin's life and I will get to that but I really need to work on my relationship with myself. I see myself regressing slightly. I have been isolating in a way. I stay busy, I attend activities .... Kindermusic & La Leache League, but I still feel lonely. I feel as if I don't have any real connections. I feel fake.

What can I do?
- reconnect with Teresa, Do I know what she will tell me?
- contact group members, Michelle Fatema?
- email Barb, Liz, Heidi, La Leache Leage women
- Email the Midwestern Feminist girl
- contact Jen from Houston
- Tatjana
- Kim
- Joscyln
- find some books to read about the subject
-call Kelli or susie
- contact the neighbor that stopped by on Halloween
- Becky from FC
- go to lunch with campus people, trista, angela, megan
- Shalla

For me it seems so much easier to be alone. I know I have the power to change my mind, to stay positive. I will never go back to where I was!!!