The Daring of Having no Enemies - Pema Chodran

Whether it's ourselves, our lovers, bosses, children, a local Scrooge, or the political situation, it's more daring and real not to shut anyone out of our hearts and not to make the other into an enemy. If we begin to live like this, we'll find that we actually can't make things completely right or completely wrong anymore, because things are a lot more slippery and playful than that. Everything is ambiguous; everything is always shifting and changing, and there are as many different takes on any given situation as there are people involved. Trying to find absolute rights and wrongs is a trick we play on ourselves to feel secure and comfortable.

another day another dollar

today is a new day. a new beginning, a chance for me to start over. I have been feeling like crap the last week. I got really sick & it really got to me mentally. I sometimes start to let myself believe that my world is starting to spin out of control. It scares me to think of how little control I really have, how so much is left to fate or chance or good luck. But I have to start to believe that if I consistently work hard and plan and be smart about things, I can have a big affect on my future. and if I work hard then I can take time to relax and enjoy my life and be very grateful for what I have. I never relax, I'm always in a frenzied state. I feel I have really let down my family. I want to be the best I can be for them and especially Vin.

My school plans have change, I have a big deadline coming December 1 at Metro Community College in Omaha. I need to get immunization records for SCC and their start date is pushed forwards to spring 2012

My goals with Vin are still the same.
Here are my goals as a mom

1. get along with scott and treat him respectfully
2. Be patient and calm with Vin
3. Laugh with Vin
4. provide healthy consistent meals and snacks for Vin
5. dance and play with ViN
6. Continue to work towards my goal of becoming a nurse & spending more time with vin
7. Write down notes about Vin

I haven't been doing any of these this week. I have let them all go by the wayside.
My biggest obstacle know is trying to find a way to get Vin to watch less TV in the morning, that means me getting up and playing with him in the morning. And me cleaning and setting up our house so it is more accessible and exciting for Vin to play.