Thursday, January 8

I remembered lots of my dreams last night.

I was in FC. I was traveling between dad's house and town. there was some sort of festival in FC......maybe cobblestone but bigger.
I got a wooden scooter and scooted to town, kind of like skateboard but I sat on it. I rode it in front of Jone airconditioning and then accidently or intentionally left it in front of the store before I crossed the street, along with a baby boy greeting card.

After I crossed the street I circled around several times trying to spot Tim. he came out to clean the windows which he has never done before in my dreams.
I wanted him to see me but he didn't. I was circling around. I saw Kia and Melissa togheter and mentioned something to them about band.

Tim picked up the scooter and card and read it. I finally nervously went by , my jogging was awkward. as he was going in he saw me, my stomach was accidently exposed, i tried to smile at him. it was disappointing, I was nervous, but excited to get a glimpse of him. me didn't really make eye contact.

later I was cruising around with rachel ploeger and her mom. In real life, I got a random email from her so she was in my subconcious. she was speeding, I was scared. there was a festival coming to town, lots of people were in town and cruising. we saw tracey cavanes, there were lots of cool shops and booths set up for the fair. at one point I thought I saw Liz's sister Tara & I called out her name , it wasn't her, I was embarrassed.

Scott was in town with me, we were hanging out with a couple of his friends??
there was a creek with a tunnel under a bridge. scott was near there. there were people under the bridge, i stayed away. two guys came out, I spoke to one but the other one wouldn't speak to me so I didn't try.

can't remember if this was last night or the night before......some sort of train, I was next to a little boy. his mom was showering his sister with breast milk. he said ew, but I told him Bfeeding is cool.

some sort of bar, drag queen, bar cleared out
family vacation, mom was jealous. extended family, niagara falls, rich and doug trampe caravaning

Dreams

I dreamed that my mom was outside of my office holding an ice cream cone & I was mad at her. It was small and sherbert swirl.

When I came back to my desk, people were making IDs for me. They had ruined several pages, Dee from 4star was there. I felt hurt and frustrated, like I wasn't important.

There was a guy who gardened, he had an Old English garden at an old apartment of mine. He used the garden that I had planted before, I showed in all the plants I had planted!


At one point I was with my sister & Eric called me, he wanted to stay with us.
I think Lauren Couse was there.

Then I was in an apartment that used to be mine. THere were sort of advant guard characters there, I was mingling and actually felt cool. The aparment owner had paintings all over, he was an artist & there were other artists there. I really liked what he had done with the place. I felt good. There were plants

I shacked up with John Wissman. We were friends but not romantic. His house was dirty, I did laundry there. I felt beautiful and cool and sexy. he was in an old house of Tim's (was it Missy's old house?) I was worried that Scott would be upset.

It was raining, and Scott and I ran accross the street to go to a KFC
I was in a buffett with my brother and some college guys, they ran out of chicken
food, food, food, desserts, ice cream cone that fell, bread on the floor, drink fountain.

There was an odd character by the drinking fountain, I thought he was following me.

November 18

My dreams were pretty foggy again. Although I didn't overeat before bed so that helped. Scott was rocking Vin around 9:00, and I don't really remember him bringing Vin into my room.

Here it goes............
I did think about my dreams while I was still laying in bed this morning.
I dreamt of a house that Scott and I shared. he was working on finishing it. I came home one day and he was changing cloths, he had lit candles and finished the back porch which was like a cascading waterfall with my plants all around and a pool with a couch like raft in it. He had just filled it so I new it was going to be freezing but I knew we were both going to get in and be romantic. Vin was occupied somewhere. . naptime? We never actually go in. AT one point we were getting ready but Scott was hanging out with Tom.....drinking. I could here Tom talking, I wasn't annoyed. We were in the garage?

All the rooms in the house were finished with bright colors, the furniture just needed to be arranged and stuff organized. But all the decorating accessories were there. There were lots of handme down toys for Vin that needed to be organized and put away. There were 3 collectore lunch boxes for him. There were lots of pretty colors.

There was some sort of threat to our safety. There were construction workers in the back. They were taking a clay like substance and breaking it up into a powder. I started helping them. I was hanging out with them because I was scared of an intruder.

Scott and I were at a bar. There was a private room. There was group of wild girls after us. Some were strippers. I was a little jealous.

Liz was in my dream, she was holding Vin. It was work related. there was a nursery. She was taking care of other kids. She , I , and my boss Peter were in a room. I was talking to her, then she vanished. She was a spirit or hologram.

I was on a scooter or walking on a path like the bikepath that goes through downtown lincoln


I can't remember very many of the details

more dreams

My dreams were not as vivid last night because I didn't get as much sleep. I stayed up uploading photos of the Vinster onto my flickr account.

I did remember a few parts of my dream. I put my Greek Gods empty yougurt under my bedside stand in hopes to suggest that into my dreams. It was a last minutes thought though after stuffing myself with chocolate rice cakes, plain yogurt, and peanut butter. It was an excellent combination. I was even thinking to myself that I should start a "health food restauraunt". Yeah right, just what I need.

Anyway the main thing I remember dreaming about was my brown size 12 pants. I was planning on wearing them today, and they were still in the dryer so of course they were on my mind.

I was trying to make it to a doctors appointment. Andrea and some of my support group girls were going to go with me, only I was running late. So they were all going to go first and I would come later. I was going for something related to my ED. I was late and I was throwing cloths around trying to find something to wear.

Part of the dream was Scott and I together in a tent. We were making love. I know that had to be because he laid down with Vin and I for awhile last night.

I see a glimpse of Vins daycare group being led from one house to another. I was laying on the ground with a baby just relaxing, watching this group. The baby had to be Vin, but didn't really register with me. We were excluded from the group for some reason but it was no big deal. There was a cluster of houses. The people in the group were not actually Mama Lynn and kids, just nameless people.


Everything was really hazy last night, it was not a good nights sleep, but I stayed up late & got a chance to upload some of Vins photos to my flickr account. I am so thankful to Scott for taking and organizing so many pictures of the Vinster. I love you Scott.

Dreams

I started reading Concious Dreaming by Robert Moss. I think I am really on to something interesting. All I know right now is that I need to jot down some notes about my dreams last night.

I dreamed about Becky Hundley Wittwer. She was doing aerobics in front of her house with some friends. I joined them. They were in better shape then I was. She lived in about the same area where she truly does live in Falls City but she was right next to the highway going west from FC. We ended up going inside. I was jealous of her friendships with these local Falls Citians. Somehow there was an image of a horse that made one of her friends really sad. She started crying. I told a story of how I used to pet the horses on my road everyday and how wonderful horses are. I felt my story was inefective in comforting Becky's friend as I was trying to do. Her horses were stolen or abducted or something and she didn't know how to get them back. Then Becky's husband came in the room and I think hugged her.

At one point in my dream the outdoors aeorbics session evolved into a party. They had a huge backyard and there were Falls citians standing all around Becky's house, the front, the side, the back, and the neighbors yard. People were gathering for some kind of event, maybe a music performance. There were many people I knew, and they were all saying hi to me. I felt really good and a part of the group. Wendy Krietzer, Haley from 4star, those are the two I remember. The whole time I was waiting and searching for my Tim to show up. He never did. But I was excited to be in his neighborhood.

there was another transition. At some point in the dream I left Vin to go to Becky's house quickly. FOr soem reason I put him in a duffle bag, I thought I would be back shortly. While I was standing around at her party, I remembered where Vin was and I felt paniced. I race home, I thought he would be dead but he wasn't.


Part of the dream was about the seperation of my mom and dad which is a very common theme in my dreams since they were divorced. This week I realized they have never seen Vin together, weird I just realized that. It has made me think and Im sure that is what influenced this dream. There were two seperate houses, my moms and my dads. I was very worried about my mom, at one point in the dream she told me she was going to committ suicide. I was in her house helping her organize, getting it ready. This part of the dream is more vague. Then I was at my dad's house with my siblings. He had gotton holoween candy, which seemed strange because it seemed to be my moms job to do that. There was lots of candy. There was also a mysterious attic ???

In another part of the dream I was waitressing for the first time in this obscure restaurant ??? I remember the tables and clearing away trash, and waiting on families, asking them if they want dessert. I was the hostess first but that was really boring and I just started bussing the table then waitressing, I liked it.

There was a store waiting room, that was decorated for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I I was waiting there with some people , there was only one chair. I remember telling the shop owner it looked more like Valentines day then Christmas. I wanted to redecorate. I was drunk in this store for awhile and drawing smiley faces???

Somehow I got really drunk, I was drunk at the store, at my mom's house, I was with friends and ended up at Fourstar, I slept on the floor, talked to Lisa, and somehow left my cell phone there.

ONe thing that really sticks out from last night is that Becky gave my a chunk of fur, I didn't know if it came from her dog or a deer. It was meaningfulto me.